Are your failures your greatest assets? 😝

What’s that one dream you’re shelving because you’re afraid it’s too big, too expensive, or too out there? What’s the phone call that’s eating away at you to make, but you’re so scared that the voice on the other end may not want to reconcile? What’s the really hard truth you need to say out loud to yourself to move forward but you can’t because forward will for sure equal a failure?

As much as we hate to admit it, much of what we do (or often, don’t do) is driven by fear of failure. Did you know the Bible mentions fear (“do not be afraid”) 365 times? I’m not a numbers person, but that’s not coincidence. No one likes it, of course, but I hate failure – despise it. Always have. Because the flaw in my thinking since childhood has been that a failed project, a failed plan, a failed relationship means a failed me. A flawed me. A less than me. In the eyes of the world, failure chips away at the value of who I am. DON’T TELL YOURSELF THESE LIES FOR 30 YEARS LIKE I DID!!!

As much as I’ve avoided, even hidden, failures of all kinds in my life (spiritual, moral, relational, professional, etc.), in recent years, the Lord has been waking me up to not just the inevitability of failing but also to the hidden and oh-so-merciful fruits of it. What?? Fruits of failure? I hate it. But like most painful truths, this one, too, sets you free. Free from unrealistic expectations (your own and others’); free from missing out on opportunities; and free from the lie your mistakes make you less than, when they can actually, make you better than before.
 

A few things I’ve learned:
-A failed project, plan, etc. means you still have something pivotal to learn; learn it. That’s the fruit.
-Failed communication or conflict in a *safe* relationship can create more trust and safety when it’s handled with grace and humility. That’s the fruit.
-Failure to meet a goal or keep a resolution doesn’t mean you can’t do it; it means you have more muscles to build on your way toward it. Build them. That’s the fruit.
-A failure in obedience to God isn’t a red mark on your spiritual record; it’s a crack in your self-righteous armor that allows his soul-saving love to rush in all over again. That’s the fruit.

The point is, we all want to succeed, to achieve, to live well. We should. But no human ever bats even close to 1,000. And we miss reaping God’s blessing in our botched moments when we don’t embrace our failures for what they are: fertile ground for growth and compassion, creativity and a generous spirit, that, let’s face it, most often come when we miss the mark. Your failures do not define who you are, but they can refine and enrich who you are if you let them.